Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts

Monday, June 22, 2009

How One Woman Struggling with Finding Her Identity Created a New Life Through Yoga


Breathing Space: Twelve Lessons for the Modern Woman by Katrina Repka and Alan Finger Book Review: A


Yogis, relaxation experts and Buddhists all extol the virtues of breath for stress relief and claim breath work unlocks health-compromising stress patterns. I've never been able to experience the power of breath, as they say. I take a few breaths and then do feel calmer, sometimes even more centered but to make a daily habit of breathing deeply never appealed to me. Quite frequently, I forget to take the time to breathe deeply.


The 2009 book, "Breathing Space: Twelve Lessons for the Modern Woman" by yoga teacher Katrina Repka and yogi master Alan Finger finally opened my eyes (and my lungs) to the potential of breathing techniques.


Repka is an early thirty-something woman who leaves her marketing career and hometown of Calgary in Canada to test her merits in New York City. Her friends and family, baffled by her decision, wondered, "How can she uproot herself like that at the time when she should be settling down and starting a family? How could she give up a good job, promising romantic prospects, and more importantly, us?" Though her motivations were not understood by her family, Repka had been drawn to New York City since childhood. One day, with all her courage and little support, she set off for the big city.


"My life in Manhattan was supposed to be the complete opposite of my life in Calgary, Alberta. I would be thinner, smarter, happier, hipper. My work would be glamorous, my days and nights filled with excitement and fascinating new friends. I wasn't going to settle for the comfortable routine that had threatened to stifle me in my old hometown." *

Once she settled in New York and adjusted to the pace and attractions she discovered that she brought her old Calgary self all the way to New York. Her new, glamorous New York self wasn't as easy to keep on, no matter how many Prada shoes she purchased. Old insecurities and reservations bombarded her, screeching more loudly than the big city's noise. Her old self doubt and restlessness was getting in the way. She wrestled with old questions about who she really was and what she wanted her life to be like. The answers, just as they did in Calgary, evaded her. Her frustration continued until she met yogi master Alan Finger. Finger ran a yoga studio in NYC. The studio had many yoga classes and Finger also offered private breathing consultations, that in Repka's case, closely resembled psycho-therapy sessions.


The book, Breathing Space, is broken into chapters that focus on different areas of self growth so the reader can quickly go to a chapter of relevance for themselves. Some of the titles are:


Focus: The power of breath to help you see yourself clearly;

Criticism: The power of breath to erased self-destructive tendencies;

Faith: The power of breath to overcome hesitation and connect with your truth.


As a woman in my thirties, I found Repka's journey especially relevant to my own journey and quest for a fulfilling life. Repka is self effacing and willing to share embarrassing moments and mistakes with her readers but don't be put off by her age. Her explorations, struggles, and victories are common among all women struggling with their identity and for those demanding an enriched life.



Allison Frederick believes that Role Modeling is one of the most effective ways to launch a program, improve a product, and personally achieve a higher level of success and goals. www.AllisonFrederick.com

Friday, November 23, 2007

Finding Integrity as a Woman

Achieving integrity, made up of public and private acts in sync with a woman’s true self, is life’s journey.

How do we present to others who we truly are? How to we make decisions reinforcing what we believe in? And sometimes we ask: How do we discover who we truly are? Integrity is a representation of an authentic self. It is a consistent display of our beliefs, values, and moral codes. But the path to integrity is littered with diversions and obstacles, making it challenging to truly live in step with ourselves.

First is the task of discovering who we truly want to be as a human being. We must strip away all the layers of other’s expectations, all our own weaknesses and fears, and then take a look at who is left. Do we like what we see? Is the woman who was buried beneath expectations and rules a woman we would like to spend time with?

Authors help us in this discovery processes by leading us through worlds, characters, and situations we might not otherwise meet. How does our integrity fit into a book’s representation of life? Do we agree or disagree with the action taken by the characters? Do we admire the character? Do we wish to emulate the character? Contrasting our own selves with fictional characters can help us discover who we really are. I focus on women writers, whose experience and tone help me define womanhood and whose wisdom or lack thereof help me define my authentic self.

The new book “Women Who Write” by Stefan Bollman explores the influence of femininity on writers. He writes: “Overcoming the traditional image of a woman is no more than the first milestone in a woman author’s struggle for her integrity. The second is to be able to speak openly about her own passions, or in (Virginia) Woolf’s words, to tell the truth about her ‘own experiences as a body.’”*

It is the second struggle Virginia Woolf spoke of, the struggle to speak openly about our own passion, that trips most women. Do you feel you can openly share your opinions and desires? Do you subjugate your own voice to others, maybe even doing it without realizing it? Are you the last to vote on a family decision? Do you find yourself saying “It doesn’t really matter to me” often? Why does it not really matter to you? Is it because you prefer a peaceful resolution to a situation and for some reason you think that contributing your own preference would rattle that peace? Why? Why are the preferences and opinion of our loved ones valuable but ours “not as important”?

When we withhold our own voice, our own opinions, our own preferences, when we fail to openly share them with others and to insist that they carry as much weight as anyone else’s, we fail to remember who we are. We are not the only ones who forget who we are, our loved ones and our co-workers do not know us either. Why? Because we refuse to share ourselves with them. We refuse to live openly and tell the truth about ourselves. We refuse to live with integrity.

* Women Who Write, by Stefan Bollmann, 2007 Merrell Publishers Limited, p.38

About the author: Allison Frederick is a writer and online marketing educator for other creative women. www.FaMissWomen.com offers free Web 2.0 resources. She is also the author of an upcoming novel, A Portrait of Josephine, an academic-lite thriller. Find out how to receive a free copy of the novel by visiting www.portraitofjosephine.com